Dollar Tree For Fun and Profit

We join Cole Porter in singing the praises of retro toothpaste

Oxydol laundry detergents at Dollar Tree. File photo by the Author.

I did not plan on going to Dollar Tree yesterday however that is where I ended up. At the Dollar Tree in the Tops Plaza on Elmwood Avenue in North Buffalo.

This is not a Dollar Tree I particularly enjoy. However at least you can make purchases there. That is not always true of the Dollar Tree in Great Arrow Plaza. You fill up your cart and you are all psyched to buy all this stuff, but then you reach the front of the store and — those lines!

What you really should do is go to those big suburban Dollar Trees in Amherst. But sometimes you just cannot. So …

Elmwood Avenue Dollar Tree it was!

Here is what I got:

Totally Awesome window cleaner. I must needs clean my windows for spring. And Totally Awesome — does anyone else out there in Substack Land use this stuff? It is the best cleaning supply company ever. You just have to watch it because cleaning stuff is heavy, and Dollar Tree carts do not normally leave the store.

Once, as a regular, I was allowed to take a special cart that could leave the store, and leave the store with it! But I do not often get that special treatment.

So that was one thing. Near the Totally Awesome cleansers was another classic Dollar Tree brand name. Are you ready?

It is Oxydol!

I bought two Oxydol laundry detergents. I also got a Body Wash for Howard. I sometimes buy Dollar Tree’s cheapie shampoos and stuff. I have even been known to buy…

They had White Rain body wash for men but then there was this huge bottle, and it smelled good, so I chose that.

Does anyone else unscrew all the tops to things and take a sniff? I always do that. With shampoo, candles, everything. Sometimes I do it when I am not looking to buy. I do it just for fun!

What else did I get? I got dish detergent. Long gone are those huge bottles you used to be able to get for a dollar. However I was able to find the medium size bottles for $1.25. You have to watch it at Dollar Tree now. Things are various prices. Nothing gold can stay, as the poet wrote.

They had this hot pink cleanser that I considered but ultimately did not buy because my cart was getting too heavy and, as I said, I could not take it to my car.

In line for checkout I bought two chapsticks. There was a Dollar Tree chapstick brand I loved. It was Chap Ice! Chap Ice came three sticks to a pack, for $1. Alas, no more. At least I did not see it.

Finally I bought three tubes of Ultra Brite toothpaste. There are two kinds of toothpaste I buy now that I am too lazy to clip coupons and shop CVS. One is Ultra Brite because it is as good as anything else. Also I love remembering when it used to style itself “the Sex Appeal Toothpaste.”

Watching that video I see someone wrote in the comments: “The man in the commercial is my Uncle Steve. Rest in Peace, Uncle Steve!”

The other toothpaste I like, speaking of that, is Pepsodent. I like its wintergreen taste. Also I love that Cole Porter wrote it into a song. “You’re Pepsodent!” It is in “You’re the Top.”

Haha! I love the picture of Richard Strauss at 0:48. “You’re a melody in a symphony by Strauss.”

Pepsodent appears at 3:00. “You’re an old Dutch Master, you’re Mrs. Astor, you’re Pepsodent!”

I see Ultra Brite more often than I see Pepsodent. Our Dollar Tree is a total mess with stuff thrown everywhere and prices missing. So I asked at checkout to make sure my Ultra Brite was $1.25.

“I must get the cheapest toothpaste,” I announced. That got a laugh from the clerk and from my fellow shoppers.

Now I am thinking of toothpaste. Pepsodent appeared in 1915. Ultra Brite was launched in 1967. It is good to have those facts straight.

It is good to work in a stop at Dollar Tree!

Author’s Note: In an effort to organize my Substack, I am inaugurating Cheap Thrills Tuesday. Tune in next Tuesday for more adventures in aisles and oddities—who knows what will end up in the basket...