We're Going In: Ollie's Bargain Outlet
Great Gifts Cheap! From Disco Ball Boomboxes to Talking Donald Trump Clocks
My dad used to love to talk about Sattler’s. Not the store I knew myself, the one at the Boulevard Mall, but the legendary Sattler’s at 998 Broadway.
He got a kick out of the place and once wrote about it for The Buffalo News — the squawking loudspeaker, the breathless bargains, the announcements that made shoppers freeze in their tracks.
Often some store somewhere had burned down. Sattler’s had pounced.
“Their burn is your bargain!” the speaker would crow.
My dad’s memories come alive whenever I visit Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. Sure, it’s a chain. But it’s the closest we have to that mythical emporium of deals.
You have to be in the right mood to go to Ollie’s. That was probably true of Sattler’s, too. Aisles are narrow, carts collide, and some customers look a little glassy-eyed.
Still, I have found treasures: art books, cookbooks, even a whimsical cotton cat shower curtain from India. Sometimes things go beautifully at Ollie’s — and sometimes they don’t. You never know.
“Great gifts cheap!” Ollie’s trumpets at Christmas time.
Well then — let’s roll the dice.
We’re going in!
‘Buy something for the halibut’
I hadn’t been to Ollie’s since May. Back then the soundtrack was country music, breaking every few minutes for Sattler’s-style announcements:
“We guarantee your satisfaction. Returns are accepted. But… ya gotta have your receipt! … Ollie’s. OLLIE’S! Such great deals.”
Those proclamations still echoed in my mind as I went in on this 8-degree morning. The store wasn’t hectic — surprising this deep into the holiday season.
But the bargain-basement vibe was unmistakable.
“Can I have a price on this? ’Cause it’s ripped,” I heard a fellow shopper ask.
I smiled and headed for the books. An overhead sign shouted: “Buy something — just for the halibut!”
Usually I find something I like. Alas, the same gouache book I bought months ago was still there. I’d hoped for new stock, a surprise or two. Not today.
Also, Ollie’s should rethink sticking their price stickers right on book covers. How are you supposed to give them as gifts? As my cart stayed empty, I grew critical.
And still… and still…
I was entertained.
A Disco Ball Boombox sparkled under the fluorescents like it had wandered away from a wedding DJ booth. Himalayan salt lamps glowed nearby.
I admired a giant margarita tumbler — like a wine tumbler, only larger and more vulgar.
No shortage of tipsy gifts at Christmas, not in this place.
“Gin: The Ultimate Companion,” declared one book. Was the gin the companion, or was the book? I preferred the second interpretation.
Then I struck gold.
A Trump talking clock! On the hour, the president shouts: “Make America Great Again!” Also ten bucks. I had noticed Trump activity books earlier, too. One suspects the market for those in Buffalo is limited.
‘Absolutely, sir!’
One thing you always notice at Ollie’s is how polite people are. I witnessed a collision between two men in the electronics aisle.
“Excuse me,” said one.
“Absolutely, sir,” said the other, as if they were meeting at a garden party.
Later a woman assured me, “You’re fine,” when I scrambled to get out of her way. Everyone seemed patient and good-humored, perhaps bonded by the shared belief that bargains do exist — even if you don’t always find them.
The cashiers wear shirts that read “Good Things Cheap.” It’s too funny not to smile.
Sky-high carpet rolls loomed in the carpet department. Housewares teemed with air fryers, slow cookers, tea kettles. A Radiant Dish Heater. What was that? I briefly wondered if Howard might like a fancy coffee maker, but although I thought I had seen some somewhere, I couldn’t find them again.
I also came up empty-handed in the spice aisle. I had hoped for smoked paprika, but couldn’t find any. Another woman hunting for spices hadn’t seen it either.
“Good luck in your search,” she told me as she moved on.
I spotted Weber’s spice mixes and other name brands, but sugar topped the ingredients, so I left them. Speaking of name brands, they popped up everywhere — Hershey’s on one candle, Hostess on another. sniffed the Hostess candle — a caramel vanilla number. It was overpowering.
In the end, I didn’t buy anything this time around. Part of the problem was time — I had errands to run, things to take care of. After 45 minutes I felt the clock ticking.
Were I to return tomorrow — and I just might — it could all play out differently.
We’re going back in.
Could happen!
Further Reading
Click here to experience the madness of the Goodwill Bins!
Click here for “The Buzz: Bargains and No Biting.”
And click here to read about my bargain basement art supplies.
Thank you for joining me! See you Thursday for Buzz!
Sattler's? Sattler's? My Mary, you are indeed too young to even press those words into print. We were indeed babes in strollers,the wooden kind, when my mom and babcia wheeled us into 998 Broadway to fit for Sunday bonnets and such. The basement, filled with smelly delicatessen wonderments. The biggest thrill, for my sister Claudia and me, was the heated peanut machines. A penny for a handful located at the elevator doors. Or, perhaps I am dreaming it all. Your writing is spectacular. As always.
“One thing you always notice at Ollie’s is how polite people are”
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It’s a Buffalo thing, we are not a small big city, we are a big small town. And maybe some of that Canadian politeness drifts over into our air.